Last week, I was in a coaching session with Hiro. Hiro is a leader in transition. He had stepped into a broader role that demanded more vision and confidence than his previous role called for. Hiro was excited about this new change, and at the same time, he felt the weight of it.

“I know I’m supposed to set the vision and connect it to the team’s daily work,” he said. “But half the time I’m not even sure what I stand for as a leader, let alone how to make it clear to others. Bottom line is—I’m struggling to show up in this new role in a way that feels authentic and supportive to my team.” 

These were honest words from Hiro, and words that I deeply respected.

“Have you ever written a letter to yourself?” I asked.

Hiro tilted his head. “A letter? Like… for encouragement?”

“A little like encouragement,” I said. “Something you can read when you feel disconnected from yourself, or if your purpose is unclear. I wrote one a few years ago, and I sometimes read  before my first coaching session. It helps me stay grounded in who I am, what I do, and why it matters.”

I shared a few lines from my own letter:

“Coaching is a calling,” I read. “You shed light on answers leaders already have within them. You help them see more clearly, think more deeply, and act more decisively.”

I also told him that my letter anchors me in the larger purpose. For me, that includes my philanthropic work with the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation (MMRF). Each year, I lead a fundraising team in memory of my late wife, who passed away from Multiple Myeloma. Supporting the MMRF is a part of my leadership, and what keeps me grounded, reminding me daily why clarity, courage, and purpose matter. 

Hiro nodded slowly. “That sounds like something I need.”

We spent the rest of the session working through prompts that would guide his version of the letter:

• Who are you as a leader?
• What value do you bring to your team and organization?
• How do you show up when you’re at your best?
• What do you want to be remembered for?

By the end, Hiro had the beginnings of a letter to himself, and a tool he could return to when the inevitable doubts and distractions arose. 

A few weeks later, Hiro reached out. “I keep it in my notebook that I use for meetings,” he told me. “When things begin to get unclear, I pull it out. It reminds me of who I am and helps me lead with purpose.”

Helping Hiro write that letter reminded me why I wrote mine in the first place. As coaches and leaders, we all need anchors. We need something that keeps us grounded in our purpose, especially when the stakes have been brought up a notch higher, and the pressure starts to feel destabilizing. 

A letter to yourself is about clarity for yourself. It’s clarity on what you bring, how you serve, and why it matters.

When leaders have that clarity, they lead with courage, consistency, and conviction. Just like Hiro is learning to do.

If you’re feeling the weight of leadership, maybe it’s time you wrote a letter too. 

If part of your own grounding comes from giving back, here’s one way you can join me. Each September, I lead a team at the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation (MMRF) Walk in memory of my late wife, Ardy. It’s a cause that keeps me centered in why purpose matters. The fight against cancer is bigger than any one of us.

I’d be grateful for your support of the MMRF and the work they’re doing to advance research and hope. You can donate to the cause here.